Friday, July 4, 2014

The curious case of a solo female traveller

(Chronicles my travel India- Nepal by public transport, stay in Nepal - unplanned, unscheduled and alone!)

"If you are alone and getting bored, obviously you are in bad company"- Sadhguru Jaggi Vasudev
It started with a cough(Strike 1).......Was in Darjeeling in cold October. Had developed a nasty cough ....nasty enough to not be able to hear my own voice. Decided to get out of cold rainy Darjeeling and go to a warmer place ...and maybe then i'd hear my voice again...Whether I should go to Bhutan or Nepal was still an enigma to me!  So After a early morning breakfast in sleepy Darjeeling, caught a shared cab. Knowing i wasn't a local, i was tried for an atrocious 500...my usually non-existent haggling skills and with some good grace, i managed to pay only 100:D!

After about 4 hours, got off the shared cab at Siliguri and asked directions for the nearest place out of the country- pointed me a 5 min walk to another cab station- went there- the cabs were leaving for Nepal! Done! Nepal it is! Loaded my bag onto the jeep. Wanted to go to loo desperately. There was a travel shop bang opposite. Went in there.They pointed me to some place on the first floor. Walked up that dilapidated building where nobody seemed to reside. Reached the landing where the loos were.Sweet bladder victory! However, spotted one creepy guy.His inebriated gait and ogle sobered me a bit. Went to loo.Saw shadows outside loo door. In the loo, before opening the door, I opened my swiss knife and kept it in pocket. Then whipped out my my phone and acted as if i was talking to someone-" haan main upar hi hoon . toilet mein. niche aa rahi hoon. aap bhi aa jaiye aapko jaana hai toh.("yah, am upstairs. In the toilet. Coming down now. If you want you can come up too"). There were now 3 guys outside door. But backed off staring alternately between my phone and the stairs.( Lesson: Imaginary conversations on the cellphone are more handy than a pointed or heavy object or even pepperspray;). RAN down staircase and breathed a sigh of relief when i found myself back in the crowd! Next scare was- will the jeep and my bag be there when i go to the taxi stand?! It was! and ready to leave!

I reached the border town of Panitanki passing through Siliguri in about 40 mins. It was a queer excitement  - to walk across the India border, walk over about a kilometre over the dried Mechi river and into Nepal ( one can also take a cycle rickshaw ). I've always taken flights out of the country and this I've never experienced. The land didn't change, the scenery didn't but for some reason, India felt India and Nepal felt another country. I believe in eliminating "borders" coz of the strife they cause....but I have to admit, that for some reason, i 'felt' the border and felt thankful to the forces that fiercely guarded that border. Kakarbitta is the Nepal border town.

Like a dutiful traveler who "toes the line", went searching for immigration office, to all the border security's amusement.It was an empty building. No queues. Went and asked for the immigration form. They asked for passport. Told them i don't have it on me right now. But my drivers license i have. They queried" are you an Indian?" "Yes!" "Then no, go....". My heart sank. I said but i thought drivers license is enough for an Indian, we don't need passport for Nepal.They said "no, if you are Indian, no immigration required- just walk through" ."Errr...." Exasperatedly they said "We also just walk into India... just go:)"...phew!!!!!

At  the India - Nepal Border, Kakarbitta

Next was figuring out tickets.First I didn't know where i wanted to go? Pokhara or Kathmandu. There were enough touts trying to sell bus tickets. There are innumerable bus services and I'd read before hand how to avoid touts and go straight to the ticket offices. Went to ticket agent office - some 1780 Nepali bucks later had my tix for the 5 pm "luxury" ac bus.  Funny thing is they show you the bus first....it seems there is a lot of misrepresenting that goes on here.( and I learnt that on my trip back).

It was not even 1 pm and i was hungry...and it was hot! Went around looking for some good place to get coffee and a sandwich- nothing.All they sold were chowmein!Left my backpack at the agents office( yes, i don't have trust issues) and went to a restaurant opposite the bus stand. They didn't have bread... coffee? - a reluctant yes. Sat and had a few cups o coffee. Was fun interacting with the kid touting hungry passengers to the restaurant. Had a nice chat with him. Also felt sad that such a brilliant child was denied an education and was hawking other's restaurants.Such is life in poor countries..... Had a chat with the owners kids. They were watching some Hindi serial on TV! amazing!. The restaurant also served alcohol. So had a few groups of men coming in...and after a while I realised that I was a specimen to be observed - coffee in one hand, book in another and smartphone in err.. the third. EVERYONE who came in had polite conversations with me - enquiring where I was from and where i was headed too. Why was I travelling alone - especially being a girl- and a seemingly "good" Indian girl( the definition of "good Indian girl" still eludes me). One guy came in and asked me too many personal questions that put me on the edge...i thanked the inventors of earphones and sat absorbed in a book( Pretending to listen to music helps avoid unwelcome conversations!) Another guy however came and stuck up a good conversation with me.  and even offered to drop me halfway to Katmandu. Although he seemed nice, WHATever would I do , in the middle of the night ,in the middle of a place I don't know and eventually would have to catch a bus form there to Kathmandu anyway! One day when 5 pm didn't come too soon!

5 pm!!Sat in the bus. Behind me were 2 monks from Gangtok. One of them was friendly enough to answer all my curious questions that i pounded him with - how he decided to walk this path ;how difficult it was to leave everything etc; life in a monastery etc. One nice old man came and sat next to me. He was quiet throughout the journey but kept smiling.I kept offering him my food whenever hungry me opened a packet:)...nice old man. The bus was filled with Indian and Nepali Nepalis. Loud Nepali movie started and made me think 3rd grade Hindi movies so much better!

The road was smooth till we came on the mountainside narrow highway to Kathmandu after which the bus just felt like a large lady swaying her hips. Looking out of the window made me realise how close we were to plunging in that valley. Loo stops were road side stops on that narrow road. The ladies just pulled down their pants and sat on the dark road. I was like NO WAY! Light  definitely reflects off shiny white asses.....and Indian sub continent men are known for their voyeuristic nature anyway! AT some 4 am- again loo break . I HAD to go. Plus it was HMI pressure time for me. Luckily there were these "huts" just below the road...no doors but prevented anyone from seeing either.Women were supposed to  go down there...all the ladies chose to stay up and bare their bums! DO as you please! I can't! I came back up in a few secs- nobody was there...the bus had gone...I could see it slowly gathering speed. 4 am. I don't know where I am. I know nobody. My backpack is on that bus. I don't have a working phone connection!!! I ran after the bus on that highway screaming "bus...bus...stoppp"; except that there was no voice in my throat thanks to the cough.(Strike 3) Luckily the bus stopped after a few 50 metres. The monks had noticed my absence! I was furious and scared and thankful all at the same time. Never in India has a bus left like this; they meticulously count the passengers after every stop!

Reached Kathmandu at 6 am. Too early to call my acquaintance there.Haggled with a cab and went to Thamel . Searched for KGH since he was staying there. But room too expensive. Went around searching for a room. Had enough touts asking me that they'll show me a nice inexpensive hotel. One cab driver took me to this hotel deep into this narrow street. Was apprehensive a bit. However, liked the homely aunty who for some reason took fancy to me and offered the lowest rate.I still wasn't sure. My acquaintance called - he was just back from an early meetin. He spoke to KGH hotel staff. They only quoted expensive rooms. Went back to Hotel Radiant.In a few days, was introduced to this amazing Hostel called Alobar 1000 right in Thamel and moved there. Indians are generally NOT comfortable sharing their holiday living spaces with other people, especially strangers from various nationalities especially in another country and especially with the opposite sex;). Before i walked in, I was apprehensive and made lengthy enquiries about their valuables storage space etc. Not that i was carrying anything expensive. But i value every piece of my meticulously researched and chosen equipment, especially backpack more than easily repleacable laptops and ipads:p. I only went to the room late at night when everyone was already asleep...but somehow, it felt home. I got the best sleep in a month the nights i stayed at Alobar 1000:). And yes, i left my stuff lying right there, accessible to all and touched by none:). We Indians have lost our ability to trust:)

Alobar 1000
The next one week was a blur and yet slow days. Met quite a few interesting people, roamed the city with strangers or alone. Acquaintances and new meets became good friends with whom most mealtimes were spent. Used the cheap public transport - these are mini buses that span across the city and cost between 10 NPR and 20 NPR. It felt weird that even in your neighbouring nation, they treated you like a stranger/ tourist rather than one of their own. I have not felt the distinction in India. Nepalis have easily slid in into the system . Or maybe it's just me being naive. I realised only on the last day that for some reason, they didn't even realise i was Indian. For some reason many of them took me to be Malaysian!!!

Lodge (?!?!) named "Chitwan Condom house"
I learnt that there was going to be a 10 day strike in Nepal. Had to get out of there before that. SO 2 days before the strike was to begin, went to the bus depot at Gongabu to book my tix back into India.The guy at the Yeti counter  told me that there was no need to book in advance if I wasn't sure and gave me his card and number and asked me to call him the day I wanted to leave and he would hold a "special ladies seat". I waited till the last day, hoping that the strike would be called off. But well, it wasn't so with a heavy heart, called him on day i was supposed to leave.( the strike would begin next day at 5 am).The last day was spent with my Canadian friend having "Indian" breakfast of melting Parle-G biscuits in hot tea in a glass, candid snaps, some shopping, more amazing and cheap food and an awe of spending a week with stranger and feeling like having been with family.
A happy little girl at Kathmandu Durbar square
 Rushed to the bus stand amidst the narrow roads of Thamel being blocked by protestors. The "special seat" happened to be seat next to drivers seat. No air conditioning of course. Bonus is the squeamish view as the bus swerves and I thought Indian drivers were rash!! I wondered if I'd get back to India safely. The conductor and driver kept me distracted by offloading their views on politics and the Government and living conditions etc. They were also amazed to see a girl travel lone. The conductor was a little leery. But well...being Indian used to that. In the middle of night bus was stopped various times. The military police had put a curfew coz the villagers enroute had said that they will stone every bus that passes through. Somewhere at 2 am, we were split and transferred to various buses and escorted by military police. Apparently one bus had been burnt . So basically i would've spent another 10 days in some village in Nepal if the bus driver hadn't convinced the military to please let us pass. Was a jittery night - wondering where the stones or bombs will come from.The bus had to go slow to be careful from any bombs or  thorns on the road..

Reached India finally at 7 am. Again there was that beautiful anticipation of crossing a border. I also went through a dramatic thought of kissing the ground once i cross over into India!!! Well I WAS happy to have my 3G network back up! Got a mail from a friend, Veronika that she's in Gangtok.I still had 2-3 days to meet my other friends to be back from their trek.Caught jeep for Gangtok(the jeep station is on the right hand side, just as you cross over into India) - 150 bucks. Took all day as the President was in Gangtok and hence traffic on the narrow "highway". The local cabbie in Gangtok again expressed his amazement of how women can travel alone especially after all that comes in the news!But he also told me a very interesting thing( which was a topic of discussion back in Nepal as well) -apparenty most of the solo travellers he's ferried- foreigners or Indian, are women. Men don't prefer travelling alone as such....!!

Turn on the news, read the paper. Most of the news is negative, not positive.Positive news is not news for the Fourth estate.Now we even talk about how news can be manipulated to serve the interests of those with power/ money/ patronage. However, we still lap up , chew and gulp down every piece of news that is dished to us. What then happens to us is like the "medical school syndrome" ( in the initial part of medical training, students, when they read about diseases and their symptoms, they realise they have all of them!!!).This keeps people from travelling like this.

We need to realise what shapes us and our fears is not necessarily reality, but it's the lens through which we view the world.I am not saying we musn't be careful or musn't think about a rainy day or live our life seeking random happenchances. But we must appreciate hunger to experience the more-than-bliss when we get little morsels.We must live life. Fully.Carefully. Comfortably. But without the fear of loss or failure or  the pessimism of what if's and buts.When you travel like this, you get to know that the world is not as we imagined it - it's paradoxically kind and cruel at the same time and even worse- we are capable of both - just a matter of perspective! We don't stop being racist or bigots but atleast realise that irrespective of where we come from, we all eat, cry, drink, laugh, fear similarly - so maybe we all could atleast respect each other and be acquaintances, if not friends. Solo travel allows you to experience yourself, to trust strangers, to be away from and yet long for family and friends, to be constantly off-balance, to know that despite all the gadgets and credit cards we carry,all that is indispensable, that is really ours is the air, sky, sleep, dreams - all things leaning towards the eternal, or atleast our idea of it..............

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